by Vincent Malone
As I enter the tube what do you see?
Nothing unusual. You’re just like me.
Scan my card. Go with the flow.
Follow the crowd to the platform below.
One amongst many blending in with the pack.
Waiting and watching for the tube on the track.
Rumble, rumble. The sound grows aloud.
Clickety clack. Pushed on by the crowd.
That’s not just the sound from the station about.
It’s the scream of my heart as it tries to jump out.
Like a swan on the outside I’m as calm as can be.
But look deep in my eyes at the fear inside me.
I’m quivering and shaking, I want to break free.
Hear my screams and cries.
Please just hear my plea!
The crowds, the noise, the dark dingy place.
I’d actually rather be stung by a bee.
I know it’s not “normal” whatever that is
but all of these things, they terrify me.
I cannot explain why I feel this way.
I just try to bury the fear away.
I cannot talk or ask for help.
So what can I do to feel ok?
The journey is over,
I rush to get out.
Could I do this again?
I have my doubt.
How can I change?
Who can help me?
Wear my sunflower proud
of my disability.