“You can be successful and still be disabled”
Peta Hooke interviews Amelia a 29-year-old autistic, queer, social worker. Amelia talks about keeping up with neurotypical people, avoiding assumptions and navigating complex environments and abelism.
For more information about Autism, please visit our invisible disabilities index .
The Sunflower Conversations is a Podcast where we explore the experiences of people living with hidden disabilities and what the Sunflower means to them. It’s a space to share your experience and to empower and encourage more people to support invisible disabilities.
A big thank you to Peta Hooke for conducting the interviews with compassion and respect and to Sandee Facy for the beautiful Sunflower song. You can follow Peta's I can't stand podcast here and Sandee Facy's music here.
If you want to share your experience, get in touch with us by emailing us here.
Transcript:
Peta [00:00:00] I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of land and waters of which this podcast is recorded, especially to those with a disability themselves. Hello and welcome to Sunflower Conversations, a podcast where we explore the experiences of people with hidden disabilities and what the sunflower means to them. My name is Peta Hooke. I'm your host. I have cerebral palsy as well as other non visible disabilities. Every episode we're going to be chatting with a different sunflower wearer to understand what it's like for them to identify as somebody with a hidden disability and how people can best support them in different circumstances. Let's add a little bit of sunflower sunshine to your day and get started.
Amelia [00:01:04] Hi, my name is Amelia. I am 29. I use she/they pronouns. I am autistic, queer. I'm a social worker. And I am a very opinionated social justice advocate.
Peta [00:01:22] What challenges do you face as a result of your disability? Amelia.
Amelia [00:01:28] I probably don't, express enough that I have a lot of day to day challenges, and I struggle with most things, and I don't really feel like I ever kind of keep up with my neurotypical peers. So I understand my own challenges, and I'm aware about all the things I struggle with shopping centres, building relationships, you know, just day to day tasks. But my biggest challenge, I think, is other people not understanding that and other people not, you know, having the space to learn that. And instead kind of seeing me as someone who is like, successful in spite of being autistic. You know, I've done a bachelor's degree, I work full time. I'm married, like, have a house. I'm really lucky to have a lot of these things and support, but that that doesn't mean that I'm like, I'm not affected and I'm not challenged and I understand my challenges. It's the perception that I have to then keep advocating to other people and say that, you know, this is a challenge for me, even though it looks like I'm doing fine and you just assume that everything's all good.
Peta [00:02:38] And also, I think it's important for people to realise that disabled people can be successful. Disability doesn't stop us from doing that. Of course, there are societal barriers and attitudinal barriers that, you know, many of us know about, but for sure. Like, I love that you're such a strong example of how you can be autistic and have a happy, successful life.
Amelia [00:03:03] Yeah, absolutely. I feel like I would have wanted to see that when I was growing up, and I didn't see a lot of that and that kind of internalised a lot of ableism for me. It doesn't go hand in hand. You can be successful and still be disabled.
Peta [00:03:18] So how long have you been wearing the Hidden Disability Sunflower?
Amelia [00:03:23] Maybe like two years. Maybe a year, all the time.
Peta [00:03:28] And why do you choose to wear it?
Amelia [00:03:31] I have it on me all the time. I've got a lanyard connected to my keys alongside my little Dolly Parton guitar. So it's always on me. It's always around. And part of that for me, is like, I'm proud to have a disability and I'm proud to be autistic. I'm proud of those things. And part of that is me showing that same way that I wear, like, pins with the neurodivergent, kind of infinity symbol, or I wear queer pride lanyards and stuff like that. It's part of my pride to be like, this is something that is me and is important to me, and I also like wearing it because it opens a conversation. I've had lots of, opportunities for people to go, what is that? And I've seen that before. What does that mean? And then talk to them about what that means. I have friends who have different, disabilities and feel really, I guess, worried to claim some of that space. There's a lot of that. 'I'm not disabled enough'. And so if I can show that to another person that it's like you can take up space, you're not taking anything away from anybody else, then that makes me feel better. It's who I am, really. It's like, if I can help somebody else with something, then I feel like I've really. That's really meaningful. And I've got a purpose here.
Peta [00:04:53] And not only that, I think the more diverse voices we have in the community, the better the community is going to be overall, right? And it also means that we're advocating for everybody's needs. And, you know, I only see it as a positive thing. More the merrier, I say. So how do you feel when somebody does understand what the hidden disability sunflower is?
Amelia [00:05:18] Excited and valid. I love it. I remember having an interaction with someone at work, and I was just kind of like, I have it on my keys, and my keys are hanging out my pocket like a lanyard, and, I can't remember what, but they kind of just looked down and and they were. It's like they were asking the question. I was like, how do you know what that is? And they're like, yeah. And I just was like, I don't even need to have a conversation with you now. It's just almost like, you just see me and I'm valid. And I feel really I like they've taken an opportunity to learn something. It makes me feel more confident to speak up about it. It's not always easy to say things as much as it is, just like kind of wear something that indicates that for other people.
Peta [00:06:00] When somebody does come up to you and offers help. What's the best sort of help look like for you?
Amelia [00:06:08] The best help someone could possibly give me. Starts just like. Like by asking, what do I need and what can they do? And just being open to whatever then I have to say. If I really do need help, then sometimes I'm not great at communicating that. Sometimes I am, like, really struggling to get the words out or I don't seem super friendly. I mean, I'm super bubbly most of the time, so. I just want people to be able to kind of say, yeah, I can help you with that. Or here's an alternative idea that I think, like, if I'm just like, it's so loud here and I don't want to wait in this line where it's super loud, and there are people everywhere, and they're all touching me, then I don't want, like, you know, someone to be like, oh, well, I'll take you straight to the front of the line, get you out, and you don't have to deal with anyone. I would rather it be like, here's the alternative. Here's what we can offer you. Here's what we have. The best support from like businesses, organisations, places is to have already thought about that stuff. Especially like businesses. If they if they want to help disabled people, they should be already thinking about what they can put in place. And so therefore when they say, can we help you? Or someone says, I need help, they already have those things in place where they've gone. Yeah, we've actually asked these people what would help them and we've put some of that stuff in place. And paying them for their time. {laughs}
Peta [00:07:35] As the person sitting here that uses an electric wheelchair, obviously ramps are really important to me, but there's lots of different forms of access. For you what is good access?
Amelia [00:07:48] I like space. I want to be left, like I want people away from me, so much. So if you see me in my lanyard, please give me, like a wide berth. Spaces to get away from. I specifically think about, like, airports, concerts, places to get away from the big and the crowded and the noise. When I was a kid, my dad used to take me to the football and I used to hide under the stairs in the stadium. My best memories are sitting by myself under these little concrete stairs. So imagine then, that I had, like, a safe space to go to and be. And it was quiet and I could still enjoy being there with everybody.
Peta [00:08:30] And if you had an exceptional experience or something that's really stuck in your head where you like, oh, that was such a great reason to wear the sunflower. That really made my day.
Amelia [00:08:41] I always go back to being in the airport. But I've had so many staff here I've been able to go up to and say, hey, I just need some support with this. And they're just so friendly and so kind, like really helped me in situations where I would have before kind of wearing the lanyard and before having that confident confidence would not have been able to, kind of say what I need and how I need help. So I've actually I've sent emails to the like this specific like airline any time I've had a really great experience on like this person on this flight or at this place was just like so lovely. And I hope that you tell them how appreciative I am that they have put that stuff in place and clearly learned what to do in those scenarios.
Peta [00:09:29] My last question is where would you like to see the sunflower adopted next?
Amelia [00:09:35] Like all places where there's music. I'm a massive muso I love going to concerts and gigs. There are problems I face with going to concerts and gigs where I kind of have to deal with all of that, and that I think that would be a great place to implement and know that there's some really great initiatives happening with that. I know that there was like a come and see day. I think it was at MCG for people with disability to come and like go run through and see what that's like. And some of that stuff makes like music. So smaller gigs, or smaller places where shows are held that makes it more accessible for people and they feel like safer to go and safer to, you know, take a break if they need to and know where they can do that and feel supported in that.
Peta [00:10:26] And that's another episode for Sunflower Conversations. Don't forget, you can always connect with the sunflower between episodes either via our website HD sunflower.com/au via our Facebook Hidden disabilities ANZ or via Instagram. Hidden disabilities_ANZ. Those links will also be in the description. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time, have a lovely sunflower day.